postsecret

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/2009/11/sunday-secrets_07.html

zia_narratora

Here are the photos from my trip to New Orleans to visit liret.

( Cut for copious amounts of photos! )

Mirrored from Antagonia.net.

liret

quirkybird

rougebaiser

When I first read the topic for this week I got stuck on thinking about expressions. Smiles, frowns, grimaces, yawns. All very basic movements of the face to indicate different things. A smile only really means one thing, or does it? A person can smile out of happiness, but the source of that happiness is very often a different place. Success, love or contentment can all produce a smile, but is it success at having finally figured out that difficult problem, or a success at finally seeing someone you intensely dislike take a big fall. But then all of this got me to thinking about something else.

Earlier this week, at work, James and I caught an elevator with a woman who works on the floor above. In order to call an elevator in our building you need to press your staff card up to the button, and once it recognises that you work for the government, it calls the elevator. This woman's card was not working properly, but after a few tries it called the elevator. James then joked that "wouldn't it be funny if that was how they fired people. One day your card works, next day it doesn't." The woman smiled and said "You laugh, but my best friend used to live and work in Japan, and one day the fire alarm went. Once everyone had evacuated the building and they had said it was alright to come back in, either your staff card worked or it didn't. If it didn't work, you were fired."

In the two days after I heard that story I told it to several people, most of whom said "how disgusting!" or "that's outrageous!" But when I sent it to my mother, she responded "that's brilliant! So clever, and so Japanese! That way, no one loses face and no one has to confront anyone". 

I have always wondered about the concept of losing face. Entire cultures that find it so difficult to disappoint. My mother used to live in Japan during the 70s, and the story she always tells is about how annoying it was to ask someone if you could borrow a pencil, have them give you a big smile and say yes, and then walk away and never come back. 

It is fascinating that, as westerners, we cannot quite grasp this concept. We know what it means, to an extent, but if you have not grown up with it or experienced it for a significant amount of time, then you can’t really understand. I don’t understand it, even though I am trying to write a post about it. 

As an individual you can think about it as the need to be the best, the most efficient, the most honourable, and the least disappointing. You might, therefore, think that it is in your best interest to make others feel inefficient, dishonourable, and the disappointing, but you don’t. It is in everyone’s mutual interest to maintain face. During my research for this topic, one of the first quotes I found was one of the best. 

“Face is something that is emotionally invested, and that can be lost, maintained, or enhanced, and must be constantly attended to in interaction. In general, people cooperate (and assume each other’s cooperation) in maintaining face in interaction, such cooperation being based on mutual vulnerability of face.” (Brown and Levinson 1978)

Why does this not seem to translate to Western culture? We understand the concept in its basic form, but we have no idea what it means to have it be a constant presence. As a culture it does not bother us to deny someone something, or to set someone else up to take the blame, or to give up and surrender. It might distress us for a moment, but that moment will pass and we might be glad we made that decision. The preservation of the self is a very human concept, manifesting itself in such different ways. Face constitutes a preservation of reputation, honour and metaphysical self, whereas much in Western culture is a preservation of the body. On one side there are those who would rather die than lose their honour, and on the other there are those who would rather live to fight another battle. 

I honestly cannot say which I would prefer. Most likely what I already have, as it is what I am used to, but I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to live in that positive world of honour and respect (though, of course, it will its faults as well, and not everyone will adhere to it). I am far from understanding Japanese culture and language, even in its most basic forms, but it is something I would like to get a firm grasp on.
 

zia_narratora

A week and a half ago, I went to Abby Denson’s book release party for her book, Dolltopia. There is a link on her site to buy it!

Mirrored from Antagonia.net.